Love you, AJ..Happy Happy Birthday Baby!

To our dearest AJ ...who was our baby boy but is now our big boy. you are growing so fast! When you are older, you will find your baby book in the back of my closet - and it will probably be half finished. That's cuz your mommy is a procrastinator! I hope you get a chance to see this blog though cuz it should be on the computer forever, right?

Here is some of our story in case I forget when I am in my old age and you start asking questions:

Your daddy and I were married in 2001. By December 2002, I wanted you so I told Daddy - come on! Bada bing bada boom - I knew by end of January 2003 that I had you. I loved you before you were born.

we had a lot of support and love before you were born.

I was so excited while I was awaiting your arrival. I became a regular at BabiesRus. I read multiple reviews on baby products - I wanted everything to be perfect for you...and I read a lot of how to take care of baby books... - I remember trying to read up on sterilization of baby bottles. Your daddy and I have iron stomachs - we can eat food that's been left on the counter for a couple hours. so I was anxious on making sure everything was ready for you. and I ate a lot! You loved a lot of meat while I was pregnant with you. ...A LOT of meat.

Here is daddy letting everyone know you were born. He was calling everyone as soon as you came out. Uncle Bernard was doing the same ..... =)

Grandma Rosie and Grandma Auring were the ones worried about your eyes. "Bernie, why is AJ's eyes hazy and gray." My reply, "Don't worry, babies eyes change color..I'll talk to the doctor at his first checkup."

We were new parents - so excited just to have you and learn how to take care of you. I knew I loved you but I didn't know what that love meant until they told your daddy and me that you had glaucoma.

I was shocked. what does this mean? how did this happen? what did I do during this pregnancy that caused this? how will we cope? what do we do? what if we have more children with this diagnosis or a disability that was more severe...are we strong enough to handle it?
I saw your daddy with red rimmed eyes trying not to cry also.

Afterwards, I was sitting in our green rocking chair alone with you in my arms at home. You were so quiet ..so innocent. I sat with you for a long time - with all the questions above and more whirling about in my head. Finally, I looked at you and I gave you the tightest hug I could give your little body. I vowed to you from that moment on that I LOVED you ...that meant a love unconditional and so profound it is hard to put into words. I prayed to stay strong for you and for your daddy...I prayed for faith and peace of mind that all things are possible. I prayed to be the mommy that you needed me to be for you because I wanted to be best mommy for you.

My AJ... if you only knew how you opened my heart.

You are our big boy now but when you want to hear how I sang your song for you when you were a baby... you just let me know, ok?

AJ's song:

I love you

yes I do

cuz your my baby boy

your my baby boy

your my baby boy

I love you

yes I do

cuz your my baby boy

.....and you love daddy!