sorry...i give everyone the blanket answer when i'm asked how is AJ doing when he has surgery. 'he's doing good'
i have a tendency to do that.. not sure if i don't trust people with the truth...or i don't think they can handle what i tell them... or if it's just easier for me to just say 'he's doing good'. then you can say 'that's good, i'm glad everything went well'. then we all feel 'good'.
i don't know if i am protecting you or protecting myself. who knows. i am too strong for my own good. i don't share my fear and my pain because ...because i don't know. it's easier for me not too. it's easier to be shallow..i lie to you and you lie to me..we lie to each other and we are ok.
so if i allow myself to take my 'strength' away:
it sucks. it blows.
i know the routine ... i dread it but i know what to expect. i don't know how other parents do it when their kid is having surgery for the 1st time. they probably go nuts.
this surgery required a pre-op history & physical from his regular pediatrician.
you don't know the surgery schedule and pre-op instructions until the day before.
if you mess up and give anything to eat when you are not suppose to - the surgery can be delayed or cancelled. if your child is sick (like a cough /congestion), the surgery can be cancelled.
AJ usually starts to have a cough/runny nose when a surgery is coming up...not sure if this is sixth sense or what.
i usually have insomnia the night before..i dream about what i have to do to get ready to go to the hospital.
this time..woke up at 4 am. woke up AJ and gave him apple juice at 4:30 am.
we picked up mom and kuya bernard at 5:45 am. got to the hospital by 6:30 am. tita tess and uncle alex are waiting for us since 4 am.
it's a waiting game by then. brought into the outpatient surgery department. checked in with the nurse. waiting for the docs to show up for our 7:30 surgery time.
it sucks. the nurses and docs are friendly...they try to make AJ feel comfortable. AJ burst into tears while the anesthesiologist was explaining the mask to help him fall asleep. bawling...loud wales. tita tess & kuya bernard start tearing up. only me and uncle alex are stoic. i try to bribe him with buying him a toy once we are done. that quiets him ..just a little bit. he is given a pre-med (versed) orally to calm him down. he starts dry heaving then upchucks the medication.
this totally sucks. but we've done this before..i am not the the type that can't not handle this.
